The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs - Irvine Welsh

At Edinburgh''s Department of Environmental Health, hard-drinking, womanising officer Danny Skinner wants to uncover secrets: ''the bedroom secrets of the master chefs'', secrets he believes might just help him understand his self-destructive impulses. But the arrival of the virginal, model-railway enthusiast Brian Kibby at the department provokes an uncharacteristic response in Skinner, and threatens to throw his mission off course. Consumed by loathing for his nemesis, Skinner enacts a curse, and when Kibby contracts a horrific and debilitating mystery virus, Skinner understands that their destinies are supernaturally bound, and he is faced with a terrible dilemma.